Don’t you love those emotional rollercoaster days?

I was really down because the final contest I entered the Amazon book in — the GOTCHA contest — had already made calls to the finalists. That story has placed in three of the four contests I entered, so I had hopes this was going to be four out of five. Alas, it didn’t final.

Around nine last night, I was fussing over the second Amazon book and feeling frustrated. Then the phone rang. When I saw the call was from California, my heart skipped a quick beat. Maybe the coordinator hadn’t been able to make all the calls yesterday. Maybe the Amazon book still had a chance.

But it wasn’t what I thought. The Amazon book didn’t final. My new faith healer story did. I was shocked. It’s the only time I ever entered it in anything, and I only did so to get some feedback on whether it was worth finishing. Evidently it is.

This contest is a little different than most. The judges actually make the placements, then the top few go to editors for them to review. Normally, the entries are sent together as finalists, and the editor ranks them. The faith healer story was third. I’m happy that I don’t have to sit and wait another month or so to see which place the editor gives it. Ironically, this is the same editor that has the Amazon story in Duel on the Delta. Entires are not allowed to bear the author’s name, so I doubt she’ll figure out the two stories are by the same author.

Have I ever told you how much I love rollercoasters?

Should I use a pen name?

I’ve worried about that question. Not that I don’t obsessively worry about a lot of things… But I find myself in a unique position because I’m a teacher.

All my students know I write books. I have never been able to be something I’m not, and writing is such a part of who I am, I’ve always been honest with students, parents, and my bosses that I write romance. I get positive reactions. Some parents are thrilled. Some have asked me to mentor their children who aspire to writing. Even one of my principals asked me to take a student under my wing to encourage him to continue his education because the young man has hopes of being an author. I honestly can’t recall anyone reacting negatively about my genre.

I do, however, get teased quite a bit. Mostly by boys. Yes, Tom, Drew, and Kyle. I’m talking to you. They love to say I write “smut.” I hope they know better and that they are simply having fun with seeing how red they can turn my face. But therein lies the rub.

If I publish, what happens next? As my books are released, will students see me differently because they can buy one of my stories and read how my mind wraps itself around a love scene? Will parents look at me differently? I’ve heard stories of romance authors who teach having problems because they write romance. Hopefully, those are just rumors. Yet, I worry.

I could take a pen name. My son has come up with one I love. But in my mind, that would make me a hypocrite. Everyone would know anyway. And I keep myself writing some days with a fantasy of sitting at my local Barnes & Noble, signing books. My ego would love that signature to be “Sandy James” and not a pen name.

Alas, I don’t think I’ll ever find a good answer and will eventually just have to decide one way or another. Any advice my blog readers have to offer would be greatly appreciated. I am averaging at least a hundred “hits” a day on my website. Unless I have a stalker who is repeatedly hitting the refresh symbol, someone is reading my words. Leave me a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

For now, I’ll just be me and hope for the best.

I hate winter.

I was thinking today about what warm location the hubby and I could move to when we’re old and gray. The cold is getting to me. Indiana isn’t the best place to be in January. Cold. Damp. Sunshine is non-existent. Is it any wonder so many Hoosiers have seasonal affective disorder?

On a more pleasant note, I really like my second semester classes. Seeing mostly seniors might be the reason the January blahs have hit me so hard. These kids know the home stretch is getting near, but in the cold of winter, graduation still seems so very far away. I think I’m an emotional “borrower.” What the people around me feel, I tend to feel. And right now, I’m borrowing their frustration.

I am working on two stories right now. One is about a faith healer and a reporter. It’s sweet and calls to me on many levels, but I think I’ve been flirting with it for far too long. I need to focus. The second of the Amazon series is going well, but I don’t feel pressure to finish it by a certain date. I’m not sure that’s a good thing. I’m finding I work better under pressure. When I was trying to fnish The Reluctant Amazon for Golden Heart competition, I fretted over getting it done in time. That made me vigilant and kept me on my toes. Perhaps I need a little intensity in my life for motivation. Perhaps I need something to aim for to get moving.

And perhaps February will be warmer.

Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in.

I’m not contesting anymore. Honest. I really didn’t think any of my entries that are floating around out there would final. But I am evidently a finalist in the Duel on the Delta contest. The Amazon book is listed as one of the paranormal entries that made the finals. I have to say my ego really enjoyed seeing my name on that website. I’m flattered that my writing is appreciated.

I have enjoyed the contests I’ve entered. Well, at least most of them. The feedback I’ve received has been valuable, and in a business where you’re often told what you do wrong, it’s sure nice to know when you do something right.

Maybe I’ll finally win one of these suckers.

Time to make a 2008 resolution.

I’m not making my usual resolutions. This year I’ve chosen a different tack. I’m actually resolving something that matters.

For example, I am not resolving to lose the same twenty pounds I’ve sworn to get rid of every New Year’s Day since I was fifteen. I’m forty-four. If I haven’t lost them now, I’m probably never going to. Besides, they’ve been with me so long, it would be akin to losing an old friend. What’s great about being this age is that I no longer put all of my self-esteem into how much I weigh. If I would have known turning forty was so liberating, I would have admitted to actually being forty long before now.

I’m also not resolving to keep my house pristine, or balance my checkbook, or win the lottery. Those are lost causes. Better to let them rest in peace.

My resolution for 2008 — surprise, surprise — involves writing.

I resolve to write to please myself. Not to target a certain market. Not to hope to have the story fit a certain series line. Not to copy other hot authors or genres. I’m going to write stories I enjoy. Because if I don’t enjoy them, no one else will.

That is a resolution I can keep.