Every time I venture out into the World Wide Web, I feel ignorant.

Sweeping through some housekeeping duties for my website, I ran across some interesting information. This blog is now listed on technorati.com. I didn’t even know what technorati.com was. Of course, the Internet and I aren’t very well acquainted. I am trying to learn, but…

Technorati is a listing of anything on the Internet. Like Google, but a little more personalized because you can “claim” your site and manage it. On a side note, I now turn up on a Google search. That blows my mind. I want to be known. That was the purpose of starting a website and having a blog. But I do have to say it is a bit creepy to feel so… out there.

I will never learn to use all of the advantages of the Internet. Most of the useful things I find are strictly by accident. It amazes me how adept both of my kids are at using anything technological they get their hands on. I watched Laura flying through something the other day, and I just stared at her with my mouth wide open. I couldn’t have told you what she did, but, damn, she did it fast. Kevin does computer animation that blows me away. He posts some of his work on a site called Newgrounds. Again, not a clue as to how he does what he does, but, wow…

I suppose I’m a dinosaur in many ways, especially where technology is concerned. What is really amusing is that I am considered “well-versed” in running the gradebook program at my school. They call me the program’s Guru. That’s just sad.

Maybe one day, I’ll catch up to the evolving world of technology. Or maybe I’ll just spend the time writing another book. That would truly make me happier than feeling left behind by the latest new Internet craze.

I’ve changed since I became a writer.

My greatest relaxation has always been reading. Every summer, I’d have stacks of books I had looked forward to reading all school year. I read incredibly fast, so I could polish off a dozen in the matter of a couple of weeks. I could sink into the story and lose myself for a little while. With two kids at home, that ability was a luxury.

Once I started writing, I lost that ability. I can’t just read. I critique. Please don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I think I’m a better writer than those women. I’m not that egotistical. It’s just that I see things I might do differently. And I anticipate plots, sometimes seeing where a story is going so early that the book is no longer enjoyable. I also cannot let a typo slide. My little green pen is with me whenever I read, and I have to mark the errors. My father-in-law warned me that would happen.

My son and I have always enjoyed movies, almost every weekend we’d see something. In some ways, I have the same problems with those stories. KJ and I went to see “Spiderman 3″ yesterday. I spent most of the movie thinking, “I knew that would happen,” or “I cannot believe they resorted to that cliche!” I need fresh. I need unpredictable. Unfortunately, those qualities seem to be hard to come by.

I only hope my stories don’t leave a reader as cold as some books/movies leave me. I want readers to anticipate turning each page and be a little surprised at what happens when they do. I want my readers to love the heroes, flawed though they may be. And I want readers to see the heroines as gutsy, real women. I also want my stories to evolve as I evolve as a writer.

My mother-in-law likes to ask which of my stories is my favorite. Because I’m always changing, so does my answer.

If you don’t have patience, you have no business trying to write to publish.

This has been a bad week for me, and I’ve had to reach deep down for some calm and some patience. My high school is in the midst of finals which tends to make students who have ignored the consequences of their lack of academic motivation to suddenly panic. Their lack of preparation doesn’t equal an emergency on my part, but I am trying to work with several so that they can still graduate. There have only been a couple of times in my teaching career that graduation came down to a passing grade in my class, and that type of pressure is draining.

Couple the stress of the last weeks of school with the maddeningly slow pace of publishing, and the Type A in me feels like standing by the wall and beating my forehead against it. No blame being cast, just frustration from a wanna-be-published writer. Control freaks (like me!) need to learn that all things happen in their own sweet time.

My daughter is getting married next weekend. While I applaud her for how wonderfully she has managed all the details, a wedding is still stressful for everyone involved. She is lucky to be marrying a wonderful man who I know will be good to her. Love you, Jon!

Lately, I find myself playing either soothing music or songs of inspriation such as “Let It Be” by the Beatles. (A “must listen” for writers.) I highly recommend Michael Buble and Barry Manilow. But, then again, I’m an old lady.

Perhaps I should listen to Eddie Murphy’s “Patience” from the Dream Girls album. It could be exactly what I need.

It seems that Romance Writers of America is considering dropping “Mainstream with Strong Romantic Elements” from the categories for the Golden Heart.

My first response is shock. Traditional romance is not dead. But the romance industry is changing, and quite a bit of that change comes in the form of women’s fiction. Chick-lit. Hen-lit. And Mainstream w/SRE. These are now a huge chunk of the romance market. RWA should not ignore these authors.

The RWA proposal calls for the category to be dropped from GH, but not from the RITA. I find that to be a baffling decision. What it means to me is that if you are already an established Mainstream author, you are accepted. If you are a budding Mainstream author, you are not.

The way I look at it, dropping Mainstream w/SRE is going to cause quite a few authors to be less inclined to care about RWA. The Golden Heart is a big goal for many, many RWA members. Me, for example. But because most of what I write doesn’t fit traditional romance categories, I wouldn’t be able to enter the Golden Heart contest. That bothers me because it tells me that my work isn’t horribly important to my professional organization.

I recently joined Elements, an RWA approved chapter that is attracting many a Mainstream author to its fold. The membership has doubled in the past few weeks, partly I believe in reponse to the fear of many authors (just like me!) that Golden Heart will drop the Mainstream category.

I encourage all RWA members to be sure and express their opinion on these proposed Golden Heart changes.

Contests can drive a writer insane.

There are many writing contests sponsored by the local chapters of Romance Writers of America. Entering these contests can be very helpful to writers. The first benefit is that new eyes take a look at your story. Perhaps your critique group has already gutted it, and you just want to see if it’s improved. Perhaps you want someone who doesn’t know you to have a go at it. Either way, it is very valuable to a writer to receive constructive criticism.

A second benefit is that the final round of these contests are usually judged by editors and agents. I tend to target certain editors. So far, I have made the finals in two contests judged by editors of major houses. The goal for an entrant is to have the editor like her story enough to ask for a full manuscript. One editor did read my story. And she said some very nice things about it. But she ultimately rejected it. My first “official” rejection.

I thought I’d be upset. I really did. But I wasn’t. I have had my story read by an editor, and although it was ultimately turned down, she had some very complimentary things to say about my voice and my plotline. Not every writer will have her story cross an editor’s desk. I also think part of the sting was relieved in an ironic twist of fate. Just as I finished reading the email telling me of the rejection, I received another email informing me I was a finalist in another contest. Now I know it will sound like I’m bragging, but please allow this indulgence. I have been a finalist in three different contests with three different manuscripts. And I have only been writing a little over a year. I choose to view this as confirmation that I am, indeed, a good writer.

The biggest problem I have with contests is that judging is subjective. It has to be; that’s the nature of writing. My scores tend to take on a Goldilocks tone. Too warm, too cold, just right. For a perfectionist, it can be maddening. I know my writing will never be “perfect.” Someone will read it and not like my hero. I get that a lot with Murphy’s Law. Seth is a bad boy in the beginning because it is a story of redemption. Trust me, he’s a kick-ass hero later in the story. Someone will read it and not like the storyline. Free Falling for example. The heroine is an empath, and some people just don’t enjoy paranormal stories. I’ve had scores on my stories that range from “absolutely perfect!” to “you honestly think you’re a writer?” But I still strive, and will always strive, for perfection.

The best thing I have received from contests is a thicker hide. I hope it becomes “rhino thick” — my father-in-law’s advice. Instead of sulking over results that are less than perfect, I find the constructive criticism, use it to improve, and discard comments that are not helpful. That is a skill that took me a very long time to learn, and I’m very proud of it.

My own chapter is running their contest soon. I have volunteered to be a judge. I plan to always remember being on the other side of the exchange and try to honestly help the writers who share their stories with me.

My daughter graduated from Indiana State University yesterday. Magna Cum Laude. I can’t let the occasion pass without comment, not only on her accomplishments, but those of my son as well.

Laura has been an inspiration to me her whole life. I tend to be tentative in trying new things, constantly worried about what people would say or think should I not succeed. Laura has never had those kinds of reservations. From the moment she was born, she has approached life with a voracity that still leaves me breathless. As a child, she would write plays for her friends to act. She, of course, would direct, act, and rewrite through the whole production. She literally taught herself how to read with the help of a red Fisher-Price tape recorder and a talking Big Bird. I resorted to those devices because, if given the time, Laura would have had me reading to her 24/7.

In high school, she was so active and involved that I had trouble keeping up. I was lucky enough to teach at the school she attended, so I was there to witness her enthusiasm and success. Laura not only acted in plays and musicals, she was a student director. And she was very, very good! Little Shop of Horrors. You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. You name it, Laura was in it. She joined the show choir learning songs and intricate dances. I won’t mention her particular problem with cowboy hats and the Dixie Chicks.

She didn’t change in college. Being active in her sorority and with campus organizations, she couldn’t pack enough living into each twenty-four hour day. Graduation is just the beginning for her. I have no doubt she will be a phenomenal teacher who brings such a joy of life to all of her students.

Kevin must have learned a lot from his sister. My “little boy” never hesitates to take on a myriad of activities. He draws. He creates computer animation cartoons. He acts in every play he can find. And just like his sister, he is very, very good! Recently we traveled to watch him in a production of Hello, Dolly in Terre Haute’s Community Theatre. In high school, we enjoyed his performances in The Music Man, Guys and Dolls, and he had the starring role as the father in Cheaper by the Dozen. And, although I might be a bit prejudiced, I have to say he was fantastic.

My kids are the reason I write. If they can face the world, unabashedly try new things, and enjoy life, why shouldn’t I? They are an inspiration in every sense of the word.

Congratulations on your graduation, Laura! I’m so very proud of you!

Writers need to work with other writers.

I found out early in my short writing career that I can’t fly solo. Now, don’t get me wrong. I can write. In fact, I can write an awful lot. But if I didn’t reach out to share my work with other writers, I would never improve.

When I decided to go from simply writing as a hobby to trying to publish, I realized very quickly that I had so very, very much to learn. Joining Romance Writers of American and then Indiana’s chapter of RWA, I began to network. This was great for me because I no longer felt alone. But the best thing I got from these memberships was my critique group.

The best thing a writer can have is another opinion. We all tend to fall in love with our own work. I knew I had a good story in Murphy’s Law, but I also knew the writing was missing… something. When Judie and Judith and I first formed our critique group, I had no idea what to expect. We met at Judie’s place, and the first thing they did was tell me to read to them from my story. At the time I started reading, I was so nervous I could have burst into tears at any moment. This was my “baby.” What if they didn’t like it?

Two paragraphs in, Judith stopped me. Then she and Judie began to offer suggestion after suggestion after suggestion. I don’t think I read them another word. I didn’t have to. They’d already spotted the rookie mistakes. We spent the next hour just pitching ideas, talking about my story, and planning what I should do. After our first Saturday session, I went home and wrote until 2 AM. Then I got up Sunday at 7 AM and started writing again. (Mind you, I’m NOT a morning person. Picture a middle-aged woman looking quite a bit like Frankenstein as she rolls out of bed. Doubt I’m that bad? Just ask any student in my first period class.) That’s how much they inspired and helped me. Once Nancy and Ann joined our little circle, we really clicked. I’ve yet to come away from one of our meetings without throwing myself into my work feeling energized and motivated.

What’s great about my critique group — we call ourselves the “Critters” — is that we are totally honest. I have to believe that many people in these types of groups try to spare a friend’s feelings by glossing over things that really should be pointed out. We don’t hold back, coming at each other with guns blazing. But because we’re such good friends, no one is ever offended. We all share a common goal — becoming better writers.

Unfortunately, our mix is changing. Ann is moving to Florida. While I’m happy for her and wish her all the best, I’m more than a little sad that our group is losing her insight and skill. The Critters will soldier on. But we will always miss our Ann.